I'm just going to come out and say it...I can't drive the minivan. I mean, I have driven big cars, SUV's, 15 passenger vans filled with screaming kids, but for some reason I can't drive our minivan.
In January I backed out of our garage and sideswiped our babysitter's car - it's not that I didn't know it was there, it's just that between the time I saw her car there and the time I put the van in reverse...I forgot. Brand new 2007 Honda Odyssey. Thank ya.
Yesterday I had all three kids in the car (which isn't an excuse, but more of a justification) and we needed gas big time. So I pulled into the BP and there were no pumps open for my side of the van, so I decided to pull around to another pump. Basically all I have to say is that I completely creamed the side of sliding door into the concrete slab protecting the pumps. It sounded like I had ripped the side off the space shuttle or something. It was bad - and now there's a huge dent and big yellow paint marks all over the side of the van.
I can't think of something that makes me feel much dumber, really. I mean, it's not like I'm not paying attention, it's just that I cannot drive the van. I need some Robert Redfordish man to come and teach me the secrets of speaking the Odyssey language. There aren't many things I think I really can't do well (thanks to my ever-encouraging mother!), but for some reason I just can't drive this van.
I hate admitting it, ladies, but it's true. This does not mean that all ladies are bad minivan drivers, but this mama stinks at it.
And so fun, by the way, telling Ian that I had the accident. I was so nervous to tell him that I actually TEXTED him! What a weenie. I didn't think he was going to be mad or yell, really. It's just that earlier in the week we had a great talk about the things we can do for each other to improve our marriage. The only thing he said was, "Please don't hit anything else with the minivan." So not only did I incur a couple thousand dollars worth of damage to our vehicle, I've apparantly set our marriage back a few notches by my little encounter with the concrete slab. Way to go.
By the way, the only other request Ian had on his list of things I can do to improve our marriage was, "Don't have any more children." Thankfully, we've got that one covered.