Potty training and other frustrations...

Life with a child with special needs is a little weird. It's especially wierd when your child's needs aren't very pronounced. Tori, for instance, is a tiny person, but she can do pretty much everything that other kids can do. So I guess what's wierd about it is that I feel wierd even saying she has special needs because there are so many parents with kids who have "special-er" needs. Whatever.

Anyway, the tough thing about it for me is that it's hard to know when to push her and when to cut her some slack. After all, she is missing some genetic material so who knows how that affects her? But she does things so well that I never know if she's just being a stubborn three year old or if her body and mind just don't work the same as mine. I'm not complaining here, just stating the facts. In the world of parenting, where game time discipline, potty training, sleeping and eating decisions are made every second on a regular basis, it's tough to rattle through all the normal uncertainty of parenting with the extra "what if she just doesn't do this the same way" factor. Plus, then if I get frustrated with her I feel extra guilty because she's so little and so darn cute. I'm a sucker.

Why am I venting all this? Well, because last week I got SO frustrated with her potty training. She does great while she's at school, but then she comes home and really fights me every time I try to get her to go to the potty. So then I end up manhandling her and carrying her to the bathroom, threatening trouble if she doesn't listen and sit down to pee. Fun. She always sits down, and she always pees. But then literally five minutes later she will just pee in her pants. And don't try to tell me it's out of defiance because it might be and I just don't want to hear it. Also, she will poop in her panties and then tell me she needs to go potty. I'll run in the bathroom after her only to find that she's pulled down her pants and the poop has rolled all over the bathroom floor. Fun. Totally frustrating for me. I was literally about to put her back in diapers because I was so ticked. I didn't know what to do - do I start all over with the potty training? Is she ever going to get this? Will she be in pull ups forever? Some kids with chromosome disorders never get out of diapers...not the ones who have her particular disorder, but you know how your mind goes from one extreme to the other. It was not a fun time for me. Or for her, I imagine.

Aaaaaanyway, I picked up my little "Jesus Calling" devotional on Monday when I was losing it and here's what it said:

I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged - never give up! With My help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent.
Much, much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come. One of the main ways I assert My sovereignty is in the timing of events. If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment. Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.

Ok, so I'm not sure about enjoying the potty training, poop rolling on the floor part of the journey. What I am reminded of, though, is that God really cares about these little things that seem like big things in my little girl's life. Seriously, that was the devotion for that particular day in my little life? Yes. Seriously, He knows my innermost thoughts and concerns about the possibility of pull ups taking over my house and life forever? Yes. And Wow.

Thank you Lord, for the frustration that bothered me enough to seek you in your Word, and for being sweet enough to meet this Mama right where she is....which at this stage in life just happens to be on my bathroom floor, beside a little person on a little potty.

I can't believe I haven't done this before now...

Broken my toe, that is. Ouch and ouch. I was training for a marathon and I was running so fast and furiously that I tripped over a patch in the sidewalk and broke my toe. Yeah, right. Actually, I was getting into the shower and decided to kick the dirty clothes from the bathroom to the bedroom floor. Forgot about the little raised up tile thingy and whamo. So smart, so graceful, way to go Ace.

Thankfully my real marathon running friends told me that yes, in fact, I did break it, so they let me borrow athletic tape since, let's be honest, the only thing I have in my house that can hold my toes together is Barbie band-aids. Thanks Krista! It pays to have friends that actually DO workout.

Time to make the donuts...

Can't believe school/work starts again tomorrow. We had such a restful break and I'm sad to see everyone go back tomorrow. It's been great having Ian home and getting the chance to just hang out together with the girls. We are going to have to detox a bit - been watching a lot of movies, playing lots of wii, computer games, DS games. Thankfully the past few days have been so warm that we've been able to get outside and play. We actually spent New Year's Eve cooking out and roasting marshmallows on Ian's new Tarheel Fire Pit...yeah, you read that right. I'll have to get some pics on here. It's so fun and we've had more than our fair share of s'mores since he got it at Christmas.

Yesterday Ian and I went to Starbucks for what I hope has now become a tradition...we did it last year too so I guess that counts. Anyway, we got Caitlyn to babysit (and she rocks!) so that he and I could go sit and spend some time looking back over the past year. Then we tried to think about 2011 and what we would like to see happen. We are both so resistant to setting goals or resolutions because neither one of us are good at keeping them, so instead we titled our list "2011 stuff" and went from there.

I think this tradition might be one of my favorites. It gives us a chance to actually take stock in things...how are we doing as a couple, as parents, as friends and members of our church? Are we spending our money wisely? What do we want to do with the house this year? How's our time with the Lord, relationships with family, our health? I love doing that kind of stuff because it makes me love Ian even more. He is just very gracious and, well, he's just my best friend.

In December we celebrated our ten year anniversary so we've done quite a bit of looking back lately. We have really been through a lot in ten years; more than I care to name here. Some times have been really tough, and some very very sweet. We still fight about pretty much the same things we fought about when we were dating, but we laugh a lot harder together than we ever have. I'm just so glad he's my man:).

OK, sorry if I'm grossing you out (mainly Sandy and Mom since you two are the only ones reading this probably). I guess these past couple weeks having him home have really reminded me of all the things I love about him. I'm hoping and praying for many more decades with him, and also hoping and praying that our girls find men who love them as well as Ian has loved me!

P.S. This post was not simply a suck up for the iPad he bought me:)