Wednesday, December 31, 2008

I'm just sayin...

Living in Florida is funny sometimes. I wanted it to be cold on Christmas, but the next day I am fine with the warm weather. I've been like that since we got here. It's tough to not have much of a fall to speak of, but I can do completely without winter. It's once again in the 70's today and I'm in jeans and a new J Jill hoodie that Granny Franny gave me. I really just have it on because I like to pretend it's cool enough to wear right now. I could actually be sitting on my back porch typing this to you in shorts or even my bathing suit, but I wouldn't want to scare the turtles and birds that live in the deathtrap (i.e. pond in my back yard). Or scare myself, for that matter.

I am so anti-New Year's resolutions for the obvious reasons, not the least of which is that it only makes me feel more like a schmuck when I don't do what I thought I could do. Like I would somehow have a personality transplant and suddenly begin exercising, eating right, reading my Bible and being kind to small animals on a daily basis. Instead I am trying to live with grace - for myself and other people. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. It doesn't work, for instance, when I give myself the grace to eat my third chocolate chip cookie and stir chocolate chips into my healthy yogurt snack. That's not grace...that's just yummy. I do try to give myself grace on how I see myself and how others see me, but that doesn't work all the time either. Like yesterday I ran into a friend I hadn't seen in a while and she asked me if I was "having any more". Did she mean am I having any more kids at this particular minute? Probably. So I told her no way, that my tubes were tied up tight, and then I very carefully pulled my cardigan across my front and asked her if she was planning to have any more. Don't people know that you're not supposed to ask ANYONE if they are pregnant or when they are due. Not even sure if that's what she meant, but it was enough to make me hold off on the chocolate chips for a few days.

But I digress...that is just the opposite of giving myself grace. It's such a hard balance. Rationally I know that I have had three kids in the past five years and one pregnancy was with twins...nevermind the fact that one of the twins only weighed 3 lbs. 15 oz. I would feel ok using that excuse if I were doing something to lose some of this weight. But I'm not..not at all. So Ian and I decided to try this calorie count thing that's worked before but I have to say that I have no confidence in myself or my ability to keep any weight off for an extended period of time. I do look at other mommies as they run or bike up the street and think I need to get on the ball. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that. But then I see a woman pulling a wagon full of kids while cramming her hand in a bag of goldfish and I feel all better. Sometimes comparison can be a little joyful.

Admit it, you all know you do the belly watch. It's like when you were single or in your twenties and you would always look at someone's left hand to see if they were engaged or married. Now we've just moved on to looking to see how we measure up in the "who can get their baby weight off the fastest" category. In case you're wondering, I am losing that race.

What I'm talking about, though, is that I want to be ok losing that race. In my rational mind I know I need and want to be "healthy", but when I'm really honest with myself I just want to look darn good at the bus stop. I'm not super proud of this post...I'm just trying to be honest. So for all you belly watchers out there I'm praying today that we will see ourselves as the Lord sees us, through the eyes of Truth! Here's hoping we will lean into that Truth today.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

And Mama in her Tank Top and I in my Cap...

It's Christmas Eve

It's 79 degrees outside

Our heat broke in the middle of the night on Monday

Who cares because it's going to be close to 80 all week

My girls are going to burn up in their red velvet outfits for church tonight

Santa is going to blaze in his head to toe fur here in Jacksonville.

Come to Sunny Florida...Merry Christmas!!!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Dear Santa...

The following is Maggie's last minute letter to Santa that she wrote this morning...

Dear Santa,
I want a new Wonder Woman outfit because the one you brought last year didn't fit, actually. I want a big wheel and baby dolls and more My Little Ponies.

(And for the twins)...I thek tha wot Diyprs (i.e. I think they want diapers).


Thank goodness Santa is on the ball. Just as long as she doesn't write another last minute list then we're all good.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Step By Step...Oooh Baby...

So Tori was just a walking machine yesterday!!! And by "machine" I mean that she took 5-6 steps back and forth between me and Sandy. It was amazing. We were both screaming and hugging her and I was crying. She is just such a little amazing kiddo and I'll try to post a video soon.

Zoe got jealous so she started walking back and forth between us so that we would yell and scream for her too. So cute.

It's been a great week. Ian's sister Miranda and her boyfriend Jud came to visit for the week. They played and played with the kids and it was so fun. We went outside every afternoon and were able to let the kids run/crawl around since we were man to man. It was heavenly. By the way, Tori crawls like a fiend - even on concrete. She has holes in the knees of all her pants and she scrapes up her toes if she doesn't have her shoes on. She's learned, though, that this hurts, so she now crawls on the cement and picks up her feet behind her. Ian says it's like one of those wind up toys that walks on the table. It's really cute/brilliant.

Anyway, it's been fun to have family here, and I've gotta say that this is the time of year to live in Florida. I actually had my air on yesterday. IT's been 80 degrees and gorgeous. I took the girls for a walk this afternoon and there were tons of kids running through the neighborhood and parents chillin in their lawn chairs on their driveways. So fun. Come visit!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

I ain't got nothin' but love babe, eight years this week...

So Tuesday was our eight year anniversary. Ian left for work at 7 am and when he woke me up to tell me goodbye and happy anniversary I had a breathe right strip on my nose and bad breath. That night when he kissed me goodnight I had yet another breathe right stip on my nose and the sweet scent of the Halls of Mentholyptus filled the air in our love nest.

Not quite the way we said goodnight eight years ago.

Eight years ago we were both at least 30 pounds and three kids lighter. We were looking our best and acting our best. We went out to expensive dinners and stayed in fancy hotels just for the fun of it that first year we were married. It rocked.

We have lived through five jobs, family deaths, five residences, grad school, an almost nervous breakdown (by yours truly), the birth of the Mag, a move from God's Country to Gator Country, the birth of the twins, Tori's diagnosis, and lots of other stuff in between. It's easy to look back and see all the tough things we've been through. It's good, though, to think back on all the ways we've grown closer through those bad and good times.

We watched the movie "Family Man" over Thanksgiving and if you haven't seen it then you should go get it right now. It's such a great, funny and true movie. And Tea Leoni has possibly the best haircut known to mankind in this film. Anyway, there's one line in the movie that is so sweet and so true. Nicolas Cage looks at his wife and says to her, "After all these years I've never stopped loving you." Sappy, chic flickish, but so good. And so true. When we said "I do" on that rainy night in Columbia eight years ago I never could have imagined how deeply I would come to love and care for Ian. Not fancy, just fabulous.

BTW, I definitely picked two "30 pounds ago" pics for this post.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

So much going on

We have had a jam packed week. As you know, last week was nothing short of toddler hell as we cared for the twins and their sicknesses. Thursday was great, though, and we ate a lot and laughed a lot. My friend Melyssa was here with us for Thanksgiving which made it even more special and fun. Then I called some neighbors to come over for dessert and they did, bringing the women to men ratio 10 to 1. Yes, you read that right. Poor Ian. He made the turkey outside and sat out there most of the morning getting his "man" on, and then after lunch I finally told him to just go watch football and snooze, which he did willingly and enthusiastically. He hung in there, but there's only so much a poor guy can take. Frankly some days I wish I could have a boys night out. There's just a lot of females round here these days.
On Friday the twins were better but still puny so Ian and Sandy stayed here while I went to Orlando with my side of the family. It was a total trip. I realized in the car on the way there that I hadn't left my house for a week and a half, except to go to the store and to Maggie's school. I told my mom that I felt like Ian gave me a "get out of jail free" card by letting me go one day before the he and the twins showed up.

The place we stayed was perfect and it was a blast to be with my three of my siblings, nieces, nephews and parents. My cousin Caroline came too and we had a great time. Here are some pics...

Gotta run. My sweet hubby just got home and I want to hang out with him a bit. Our 8 year anniversary is next week. Yippee! I know that's not that long, but we have been through a LOT in 8 years so we're gonna celebrate.