Just in case you were asking yourself...

"I wonder if Buffy has had to clean up poop and vomit on her hardwoods today?"

The answer is a resounding YES.

Well, actually my friends Melyssa and Marty cleaned up the puke - I had the pleasure of poop duty earlier this morning.

Awesome.

I'm way too into the Gosselins

It's almost 11:00 at night and I am currently trying to rid my mind of Jon and Kate marriage troubles. As if I don't have enough going on in my own little world to worry over, now I am taking on the marital strife of two people I have never met but feel like I know pretty well. I don't want to write too much about this because, well, it's embarrassing that I care so much. I do have to say, though, that after watching the season premiere tonight and just seeing the pain and hurt in their voices it was just about all I could take. They are so sad. Ugh. I feel like I got kicked in the gut.

What has my world come to that I am troubled by things that happen to the Nick and Jessicas and Jon and Kates of the world? I think I need to step away from the People magazine.

Rain, rain go away...

Or stay for a while because that's obviously what you're doing. I have seriously never seen this much rain in my life. We were talking to a native Floridian the other day who said the rainstorms we've had this past week have been worse than any tropical storm or hurricane he's seen. Needless to say, we're all pretty pruney around here.

The one MAYJA (major) bright spot this weekend, though, was Friday night. Let me set the scene for you...I am at home with my kids and my friend Marty is here with her three kids. Her husband stops by after work and we're all just kinda hanging out, biding time until bedtime for the kids. The "big girls" are all exhausted from their week at school so they are kinda picking at each other and acting whiny. The twins are just running all over the place whining and squealing, and JP (the baby) is straight chillin. Bless him, he always has to put up with all the ladies.

Anyway, around 6:15 there's a knock on the door and it's Sandy/Nonnie. She comes in and says she just wanted to drop by and see Maggie's lost tooth. We all sit down and I'm kinda thinking, "could this house get any crazier?" when all of a sudden Sandy hands me a card. I open it up and inside there's a wad of cash and a note saying that she is sending me and Ian away to St. Augustine for the night...THAT night!!! She had all her stuff in her car, she had been to the store to get goodies for the kids and she was sending us away.

I really and truly don't think there's a better surprise she could have given me. I just needed Calgon big time.

So, my sweetie and I put the twins down for the night, packed our bags and headed out the door. We got to eat at our favorite Mexican Restaurant, Don Juan's, and it was soooo fun. Then we went to our hotel in St. Augustine, checked in, and absolutely collapsed into the big cushy bed at the Hilton. Hahhh-lahhh-lahhh. (That's "Sloan" for jijit, which is "Sloan" for awesome).

I slept until 10:30 the next day. 10:30 people. Did you get that?! Then we went to IHOP and I housed some blueberry pancakes like it was my job. So yummy and so fun.

So here's to you, sweet Nonnie - A Real American Hero - Ms. "My daughter-in-law is going to kill my grandkids if I don't get her out of there" woman. You know me too well! What a blast. What a treat. I love you and I love that you thought of us and planned for us to have a great night away. Three cheers for Nonnie!!!

LIVE...this is Dancing With the Stars

I have to confess that I am in love with this show. We are avid DVRers around here and I rarely, if ever, watch things while they are actually on TV. Well, last night I was forced to demean myself and watch commercials with the rest of America because I couldn't wait to find out who would win season eight. Plus it's been raining here for literally three days and nights straight and the satellite signal was sketchy at best.

Why have I never posted about this before? Well, I think I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm so into it. I mean, to love a show that Tom Burgeron hosts...that's like telling a first date that you were a Drum Major in high school - it just doesn't really win you any cool points. Not that I would know (DHS 1990!). But I do love the show. I want to be famous - not so that I can do anything remarkable or so that I can live a life in the tabloids, but simply because I want to wear sequins, get my hair did and learn to do the Salsa with Maksim...is that so wrong?

So I was thrilled when little Shawn Johnson won last night. She's just cuteness all wrapped up in a little bouncy package. Seriously, though, I think her partner is loving her but she's only 17 so we'll see how that plays. I liked Melissa too, but she was a little too peppy. Her winning would have been great for her since she got screwed in front of the entire world on the Bachelor. I had to kinda hate her, though, because she looks great in those outfits...she really needs a cheeseburger.

And now for Gilles. I just couldn't take him. He and Cheryl were great dancers, but they started giving off the cheese vibe a few weeks ago and that was pretty much it for me. There's another reason I didn't want him to win but it requires a little backstory...

Ian and I did not have HBO when "Sex and the City" ran a few years ago. We did, however, start watching the reruns on TBS - it was still kinda steamy, but not disgusto. And, let's face it, they wore crazy clothes and ate at fabulous restaurants - it was an escape for me to watch. Anyway, Ian took me to the movie when it came out because he knew I liked the show. Man, we were not ready for the full frontal, non-cable version of SATC. It's not like we left the theatre or anything (please!) but it was a little much for the Smitties. It took me a couple weeks into DWTS season 8 to realize that Gilles was the guy in the movie. Why did it take me a couple weeks, you ask? Probably because all I remember of him in that movie is, well, his hoo-ha.

So, all season long as I've been watching him dance and trying to learn how to say his name correctly. I've just found it easier to refer to him as "hoo-ha guy" (except I used the correct anatomical term that I just can't bring myself to type on my blog).

Long story longer, I'm glad that "Jilted Cheeseburger Needer" and "Hoo-ha Guy" didn't win so that sweet little innocent Shawn Johnson could take the mirror ball.

I'm just sayin.

Two years ago at this moment...

I was lying in a delivery room with a blue sheet up to my face and tremendous pressure gone from my belly. I had just given birth to twins. At 12:30 pm on May 18th Zoe DuPre came into the world, followed (but not to be outdone) by Victoria Jean at 12:31. Oh the magic of C-sections. It was only fitting that Zoe clear the way for Tori - she came out as full of personality and life as a little one could, living up to her name which means "life". And victorious Victoria, who I'm sure if she could have would have grabbed her sister's heel so she could come out with her...she hasn't missed a minute of life since.

I just put the little peanuts to bed and realized that they are turning into little girls right before my eyes. They were playing a game with each other - making each other laugh like only sisters can. I know there is a love greater even than a mother's, but sometimes I wonder how any love could be more intense, more passionate, or more life draining/giving than a mother's love for her children.

So here's to you, Tori and Zoe...with all the sleepless nights, doctor's appointments, ER visits, syndrome revelations, PT/OT/ST appointments, RSV, stomach bugs, bouts with mastitis, acid reflux, kidney reflux, meningitis, chocolate binges, sleepless nights, lack of waistline weight loss, bottle feedings, diaper changes, poop on the hardwoods, baths in your clothes, casts on your legs...I wouldn't change it even if I could. OK, maybe I would take some of that stuff away, but not if it would change one ounce of who you are or who Ian, Maggie and I have become from loving you.

Happy Birthday Girls!!

PARTAY

Cinderella cakes that Marty made and we iced...soooo fun and sweet!

"Lyssa" and Zo-Zo

Harper, our next door neighbor, came in her ballet costume...so cute!!

Melyssa holding JP, and Logan making him smile

Birthday Girls suck down some juice

Tori in her "Rella" Bed - seriously, this is just too much

Granny Franny reading to the girls before the party

Zoe in her new Cinderella bedding

Zoe lay down on this blanket for a straight ten minutes today when she got it. Amazing. It was so sweet and cute!

So we had the twins' birthday party this afternoon. It was the craziest hour and a half I've had in a while - and that's saying a lot. It was fun, though. We just had a few neighborhood folks over and the kids swam in the pool and ate watermelon. Then we came inside for Cinderella Cakes that Marty made and they were pretty much the cutest things you've ever seen. Last night when she brought them over I just kept opening the fridge so I could look at them. They just made me smile.

Have I mentioned that my children watch Cinderella in it's entirety at least twice a day? It just stays on in my van and they watch it non stop while I'm driving them all over town.

Have I also mentioned that I think I could recite every word of every scene of Cinderella and Sound of Music without ever looking at the screen? It's just a talent I've picked up over the past few months that I am sure will come in quite handy someday...or never.

So here are the pics and a little video. Adorable. I can't believe my girls are two. I really can't. And then I can believe it. I guess that's just being a parent. Time crawls and time flies. Happy Birthday Tori and Zoe!

Can you say "R E D?"

Last weekend Nonnie gave the twins their early birthday present - a big blow up pool. Awesome! The girls love it and I must say it's a lot easier than trapsing them up to the neighborhood pool.

I also must say, though, that we are now looking like the Clampets of the neighborhood (right Marty?!). Here are pics of us last weekend as we filled up the pool and put it in our garage/driveway so we could be out of the sun and swim in peace. As you can also see, we are starting to potty train and Tori thought she would just sit right on down in the driveway and try to go.

Our neighborhood has lots of rules and covenants, but I've never seen one that said you couldn't strip down your kids in the front yard and teach them to use the potty in plain view of passersby...you think that one's just an "understood"?

The Amazing Victoria!

Here's little T walking in her full leg (Tarheel) casts. She really is amazing. And just so you know, this video is classic Maggie and Zoe too. Maggie doing tricks for the camera and Zoe dunking her meatballs in milk. Just another typical afternoon at the Smith house!

Milestones

Lots of excitement around the Smith household this weekend. On Saturday Maggie's best buds, Amelia and Elizabeth, had their birthday party so we pretty much hung out there all day. They had a big pirate ship jumpy thing with a slide. The kids had a blast. Zoe and Tori came after naptime and spun their tornadic magic on the house. Zoe, as you can see, was busy feeding JP (or Rock-A-Baby, as she calls him), while Tori sat crunching on ice and funneling Capri Sun like it was her job. When Zoe wasn't playing mommy she was walking around the lanai (that's Floridian for screened porch) drinking every single water bottle and juice box she could get her little hands on.

As you can see from the pic, Maggie lost a tooth and she is totally snaggle-icious. It's super cute. We just had a fun time. It was nice to be in town and to have a chance to enjoy our kids, our neighborhood and our friends. Happy Birthday Amelia and Elizabeth!!!

I LOVE Disney!

Mag and I got a chance to go to Disney - BY OURSELVES last Sunday and it was glorious! Mom was in town and she and Sandy kept the twins. I cannot tell you how much fun it was - not just to be with Maggie by myself, but to even drive down for two hours listening to the music I wanted to listen to and not having to throw snacks constantly to the backseat. I love my twins more than anything, but it was a great break. No diapers, no sippie cups, no poopy diapers, no strollers or pack and plays. It just makes a difference on a trip. I did feel a slight bit guilty, though, because the twins are really into Cinderella these days and I know they would love to see her. But frankly, I don't think they're ready for Disney yet. We took Maggie down for the day when she was two and a half and I seriously think we could have gone home after just the monorail ride. The littlest things are exciting to a two year old.

So thank you thank you thank you Gammy and Nonnie! While I was there I just tried to drink in every minute, knowing that I may never get the chance to take a Mommy/Maggie trip again. It was great.

We ended up spending the night at one of Disney's value resorts, which is a real value if you live in Florida. Little did I know, though, that the National Cheerleading Championships were being held at Disney that weekend so, needless to say, all the teams were staying at the cheapo hotel too. It made me feel old, and a bit large, but I mean who looks like that anyway? And plus, I'm just not 16 anymore - nor would I ever go back there for a gazillion bucks. Although it would be nice to snarf a cheeseburger, fries and a milkshake without giving it a thought.

Anyway, we were walking to our room in the afternoon and passed all these cheerleaders with their outfits (or lack thereof) on, their makeup and glitter on, and their hair plastered back and perfectly curled and Maggie said the funniest thing. I don't know if you're a fan of High School Musical (the first is the best, by the way)...well there's a line in the first movie where Gabriella and Taylor (who are super smart girls) are describing the cheerleaders. As we walked by these girls at Disney Maggie quoted them by saying, "Mom, those girls talk about Nail Beds." I said, "What? Mag that is hilarious!". Then she said, "What? They DO!".

1. Funny that Maggie pulled a random quote from HSM and used it in conversation
2. Funnier that she now thinks that all cheerleaders in the world talk about their nail beds
3. Funnier still that Maggie knows what nail beds are!

My little girl is growing up and I feel so blessed to be able to walk through life with her. She's a mess - and she's mine. I love that she's old enough to have conversations with me and still young enough to crawl on my lap when Ursula or Malefacent float by us at the parade. It was happy/sad. I know she's growing up and it's so fun, but it's also crazy to me that my little one will soon know that Cinderella really lives in a condo and not in the castle.

Or maybe she'll be like her mother and fully suspend her disbelief when she's in the Magic Kingdom. So for all you Mouseketeers out there "Have a Magical Day!".