Our big girls!

What a weekend. First I went to a great Women of Faith conference with my buddy Beth and it was so great to get to sit and receive from great speakers and musicians! It really was a good way for me to have a few minutes to reflect on this past year.

Then on Sunday we had our small group over to celebrate the girls' first birthday. It was so fun! We got a "jumpy thing", as you can see, and I must say that I really think it would be worth the 400 bucks at Costco to just go ahead and buy one of those things. We had people at our house from the moment that thing was set up until yesterday afternoon when they took it away. Maggie probably spent a total of 8 hours on that thing in two days.

As you can see, the twins were not very shy about digging into their cupcakes! It was so sweet and cute. I mean, it's not like sugar had never crossed their lips, but this was a different story. Tori just kept cramming the whole thing to her mouth and Zoe at it faster than I've ever seen her eat. Just too cute.

Needless to say, we were totally wiped out on Sunday night. The picture of them in the johnny jump ups is from Sunday morning, though. We were furiously cleaning and getting the house ready and they were watching a video in their jump ups. Zoe just finally gave in and snoozed right there. Maybe a sign they spent a little too much time in there? Nah.

We've turned a corner, people!

OK, so I hesitate to even type that because I know that things could change at any minute. What I also know, though, is that I will never give birth to twins again and go through the entire first year of two peoples lives. As sad as that may seem, I have to say I'm pretty psyched about that fact. I really really feel like I have tried to savor this year and all the special moments, but that doesn't mean I can't be excited about never going back again.

Coincidentally, at my one year OB/Gyn appointment my doctor looked at me and asked, "Now what are you doing for birth control?" To which I looked at her like a deer in headlights and replied, "You tied my tubes, remember?". I wanted to say, "Can you just open me back up if you're not too sure?!". I mean, that's something you don't want to hear your doctor say. Then she remembered - at least she SAID she remembered tying them. All I'm sayin is those suckers better be knotted up tight.

Anyway, I want to tell you about the corner we've turned. This morning I was in the kitchen and glanced in the play area and realized that the girls were just in there playing with their toys! Un-freakin-believable. This only lasted a few minutes, but still. Granted, my entire living area of my house is completely gated off, baby-proofed, and devoid of anything remotely stylish or valuable, but it works. Maggie and I just have to make sure that the doors to her room, both bathrooms, my room and the laundry room are all closed and we're in business. I tried the "cage" approach (baby gates that make a big play area), but they were wise to that trick after about a day. So now they just roam around, crawl everywhere, and think they have all the freedom in the world.

Another breakthrough happened today when I went to the grocery store. I had 20 minutes before I had to pick up Maggie and normally I would never try to run into a store that quickly with the twins. But I decided to try it. So I parked near the store, got both of them out - one on each hip - and hobbled across the parking lot to the nearest double cart. You don't have to be a mom of twins to appreciate the double cart - you just have to have more than one small child. The dilemma, of course, is how do you get your kids to the cart without leaving them alone for 30 seconds in the car. I guess I'll just have to pray that a police officer who has never had offspring and doesn't get it won't be parked next to me while I endanger their lives for half a minute. Anyway, I got the girls in the cart and buckled them in so they could face forward and play with the germ infested steering wheels (although not at publix because they provide those antibacterial wipes that I am SURE get all the guck off). They were so excited about this and I have to say that they looked absolutely adorable. And hilarious. Hilarious because Tori is so tiny and doesn't look like she should be able to sit up, let alone drive a cart. A man even asked me today if they were a year apart. So I'm so excited to actually get through the store without Zoe eating the bars and Tori kicking my c-section scar while she's in the Bjorn. And then I realize that people are looking at them, thinking they are cute, and then thinking that they cannot believe that I would let a newborn baby sit up in a cart like that. I can see it in their eyes. The reason I know is because they look at the girls and smile, then they don't look at me. They just kind of keep their eyes on them and their wheels start turning about how they would never let such a little baby sit up in a cart like that. Whatever, people. Walk a mile in my crocs, would you? Besides, Tori had a blast. She was reaching over and turning that wheel when I showed her what it was for.

So, that's the new corner we've turned. I remember when Maggie turned one I thought we had turned a big corner too. This time it feels like heaven. The babies will be one on Sunday and I seriously think it's more of a celebration for me and Ian than it is for the little peanuts.

By the way, Zoe's hair is hilarious. She has just enough to put it in side ponytails if you pull out the hair as much as you can. And another bit of excitement - Tori got her little shoes yesterday that will help correct her feet (they're just a little curved at the toes, nothing major). The shoes are adorable - they look like old school white kids shoes and you just put them on the "wrong" feet. We'll see how it works!

I forgot to mention that the other corner turner this week has been the no-bottle, no-formula plan. Seriously, it's going to make life easier while saving us about $80 a week! Praise.

I'm in my fat pants!

And loving it. You know you were really out of control when you are excited to fit into your fat pants. The crazy thing is that it makes me feel so much thinner. Ian and I have really been trying to watch it and I can tell a little bit of a difference - enough to fit in the FP's!

So basically I am hungry a lot during the day, but it feels good to at least be doing something about it. The twins turn one on Sunday and I think that is part of my motivation. I remember with Maggie that I really wasn't motivated to lose the weight until she turned one. It's felt the same this time for some reason. So here I go. We'll see. I'm not making any promises. Trying to take one day at a time, as they say.

The one great part about Tori's small size is that people think I have a one year old and a one month old - so man do I look good for just having had two babies so close together. That's what people say to me now, by the way..."Man, you really had them close together!". Yeah, closer than you think, lady - try ONE minute.

As the girls turn one I am finding myself in another quandry of feeding my kids. I know I want them off the bottle, but Tori's so tiny and I want to make sure she's getting all she needs. How do I know? I have no example to go by where she is concerned. Just trying to trust my instincts. They both have made the jump to the sippy cup pretty well, although Tori can't hold a bottle or a sippy cup so it really doesn't help me much. Zoe - she's like her mama - just put anything in front of her and watch her go to town.

OK, gotta run and prepare some kind of bird food for my dinner.

Don't you wish your hubby was hot like mine?

So this past Friday Ian came home from work and told me that he had a surprise for me. He said he was giving me a 24 hour "Hall Pass", as he liked to call it. He sent me away for 24 hours with my sweet, fun friend Harriet! So great. Saturday morning Harriet came over and got me and we were off on our adventure.



I need to tell you a few things about Harriet. First of all, she is really fun and has this beautifully, "fresh face to the world" kind of smile (easy, breezy, beautiful - seriously). She makes me laugh and she's just one of those friends that is so easy to be with. I don't have a crush on her...I just think she's awesome. Anyway, the second thing you need to know is that she planned this whole thing. She came over to visit me about a month ago and I guess I was having a hard day. I remember just telling her that I needed some space and needed to clear my head a little. So she went straight home and emailed Ian with her idea for a Calgon weekend for me. I mean, seriously, you all need to have a friend who will do this for you.




We just had a blast. We ate lunch at Cap's on the intracoastal in St. Augustine, then got our nails done and headed to the resort. It's a place called La Terra and it's just beautiful, as you can see. By the way, I would have included a picture of us at Cap's but I look like I ate the actual restaurant instead of just the salad that I ordered, so that'll just have to stay on shutterfly. Anyway, La Terra has this really relaxing pool with this huge fountain and these comfy chairs. We sat our there for a couple hours, talked, and read magazines. Then we got a TON of seafood take out and brought it back to the room. We got a movie to watch, but couldn't hold our eyes open, so we went to sleep. Well, she went to sleep...I devoured an entire People magazine before drifting off to dreamland.



I slept so great. I can't even tell you. I remember waking up one time early in the morning and thinking that Maggie was right beside my bed saying, "Mommy, it's seven oh-oh. Can I play computer games?". Then I realized that it wasn't real, so I went back to sleep...until 9:30 am! Oh Lordy, that was awesome. Don't you just love hotel sleep? It's soooo dark and quiet and the beds are so cushy. Jijit. After we got up we went and had a mammoth brunch at this other hotel and then headed home. It was just so fun and neither of us were ready to get back, but our sweet hubbies had had enough, I'm sure, and were ready for our return.



I have to hand it to Ian for sending me on this weekend and taking the kids himself. I mean, I know they're his kids too and everything, but it's just really hard for ME to take care of the girls every day by myself while he's at work, and I do it every day. I'm proud of him. When I walked in the door I was attacked by three precious little ones and one good lookin man. I must admit that it took me about an hour to readjust, but I think that's probaby just a sign that I was truly relaxed while I was away.



Stuff like that is just so good. I realized that I am really starving for some time alone. I am hoping that since the twins are almost a year old that I can begin to build some of that time back into my schedule. I just need it to stay sane and to be a good wife and mommy. I know these are not new revelations, but they are ones that I too easily forget and let slide. As the Comcast turtles say, " Ahhh, me time."



Oh, I meant to mention that Harriet decided we could save some bucks by going to a nail salon rather than the swanky spa at our resort. I totally agreed with this decision, so we hit up "Alivia's" in the Publix shopping center. Not only did we feel like Elaine from Seinfeld when all the Asian women were talking about her in another language, but we also got a kick out of the poster on the door of the tanning room. She had to sneek a picture of it for your enjoyment. These four beautifully tanned "Austrailian Gold" gods and goddesses are in serious need of a cheeseburger.

It's a maraton, not a sprint

I know a lot of people use the analogy of a marathon being like life, but I'd like to submit that this past year has been a marathon of it's own. I cannot believe that two weeks from Sunday will be the twins' first birthday! Holy cow, that's hard to believe. I have hardly had time to reflect, though I hope to be able to take some much needed Starbucks time and journal on the past year.

Today, though, I have been thinking mainly about myself and the journey I've taken over the past year and nine months. I had my yearly appointment at the girl doctor today, which I must say I was way too excited about. Not because it's fun AT ALL, but because I actually got to head out by myself this morning, looking "cute" (mommy cute, that is...i.e. clean, makeup, clothes I would be caught dead in), book in hand and just itching to sit and wait. Of course they got me in quickly and I only got through the first page of my book. Anyway, my doctor came in and we just had a grand ole time thinking back over my pregnancy, the fact that we didn't know there were twins until the THIRD ultrasound, and the ups and downs of not knowing what was going on with little T in the womb. It was great to see her and to get to catch up.

That's the thing about having a high risk pregnancy. I mean, I thought I saw the doctor a lot when I had Maggie, but it was nothing compared to the amount of time I spent at their offices when I was pregnant with the twins. Since I had a little time on my hands I decided to go to the High Risk practice where I REALLY spent a ton of time. I had to go there once a week (sometimes more) for them to do an ultrasound and listen to the babies' heartbeats. I saw the nurses and technicians that took care of me and they were so sweet and even remembered me. We chatted, I showed off my pictures of the kids, and then we spotted one of the doctors in the hall. This particular doctor was the one who really laid it out for us early on that something was probably going on with Tori. I know it was his job, but he told us WAY more than we needed to hear on that particular day. I have mentioned that visit before on the blog, but just to refresh you, he was the one who told me that we may have to think about what we would do if Tori was in distress and causing problems for Zoe in the womb. Would we abort one to save the other? Would we deliver early, risking harm to Zoe who was the "typically developing" twin? Ugh. Makes me sick to think about it. Needless to say, he wasn't my favorite doctor on that day. I must admit, though, that I really came to respect him and even like him by the end of it all. He told it like it was and after a while we came to appreciate the truth (even though no one really knew what the outcome would be).

To make a really long story longer, I saw this doctor today and showed him the girls' picture. I told him that Tori has Ring 15 syndrome and that I didn't know whether or not he remembered me, but I was so thankful for the care he and the others gave me, that the twins were BOTH here and BOTH amazing. I was able to tell him that I was so glad we proceeded - not that we EVER considered otherwise, and that the girls were such a blessing. I'm praying he will remember and tell other patients he may see who have similarly strange pregnancies. He was very encouraging about the strides Tori is making, and he seemed genuinely glad to see that the girls are here and doing great. It just made me feel good to be there and to know that we all had this team effort to get these babies here and healthy.

The long and short of my thoughts today have been just how thankful I am that the first year marathon is coming to a close. Not that I've wished it away...I have truly tried to savor each moment with the kids. It's just that I think I'll be able to do a lot more savoring now that I am not walking around in a half-coma all the time from lack of sleep and excessive chocolate intake.

"Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." Hebrews 12:1