Saturday, November 6, 2010

I'm back...for now

I figured out what gets me blogging...lack of sleep. It's probably the frustration caused by repeated interruptions throughout the night that get my creative juices flowing. And they say to journal your frustrations, right? (Spoken like the good phychologist's daughter that I am)

Let me see...where to start. About five weeks ago we determined that it was time to get the twins' tonsils and adnoids out. Along with ear tubes for Tori and a tongue tie snip for Zoe. So the week before surgery I had to keep them home from everything so they wouldn't get sick. Fun for mom? Um, not really. They weren't sleeping well, fought a lot, and were pretty much super cranky because I had to start them on their breathing treatments before the surgery.

Let's just stop right here before I go any further to acknowledge the fact that I love my kids. I truly love them...every inch (no matter how many or how few) of their little selves.

That said, sometimes I really wonder if I was cut out for the small children stage of life. Not that I have any say in the matter, but I just like it so much better when they are over the age of four. I know there are challenges with any age, and I haven't had a teenager yet (unless a seven year old diva counts), but I am just not good at this maintenance stage of life. I get so frustrated with them, with myself, and then I feel guilty and then I feel sad and then I feel hungry and then fat and then like a slobby housewife. That's a little dramatic, but on bad days it can snowball like that. I come from a long line of snowballers and we are really good at it.

Stop the maddness! Ok, so they had the surgery, the recovery was HELL, but once again Gammy and Nonnie to the rescue. Thank the Lord. You may be saying to yourself, "You had their surgeries on the same day?", and the answer is "Yes, but the grandmas told me to." (I also come from a long line of "pass the buck-ers"...thanks Eve).

Aaaaanyway, so recovery was AWFUL, and I really am not being a dramatic snowball pass the bucker here. Up every 3 hourse giving meds, screaming every time they woke up, trying to force liquids down a three year olds' throats, and the pain. It's really bad to see your kids in pain and so droopy. They were pitiful, but about day 10 they got better. And I know what you're thinking..."10 days, that's all! Buffy, you had TWINS for goodness sake! You didn't sleep a full night for TWO YEARS!". And I would say that yes, that's true and that's what I kept telling myself through it all. But sleep doesn't work like that. It's not like you can flip a sleep memory switch and all of a sudden be used to getting woken up to the sound of a fire alarm 5-9 times a night. (Waaaaa, waaaaa - I know! And I"m not even the one who was in pain!)

Now we're four weeks post surgery and I am so glad we did it. At least in Zoe's case. She is a new child, and I'm not exaggerating a BIT! She is so easy going, loveable, snuggly, helpful. Seriously???? Yes. I think she hasn't slept a full night's sleep n two years - maybe sleep apnea and we never knew! I can't stress this enough...she really is a different girl. More like herself. I saw glimpses of it before, but they were always masked by fits, screaming, anger, and overall crankiness.

Tori, on the other hand, has had another switch flipped. She is just acting like she's three, which she is, and that's fine. I can handle that. What I can't handle is the fact that she is STILL waking up numerous times a night, coming out of her room, crying, saying she has to go potty, needing her paci, whatever. Ugh. It's REEEEEALLLY getting old. And there's the extra fun of trying to figure out whether she's just being three or if she has something going on in her little genetic material that makes her body and mind unable to remain at rest. So we are off to find another solution to the Smith Sleep Debacle. She wakes up everyone every night. And to top it off, it was really cold here last night so I turned on the heat at around 4 AM and it set off the smoke detectors. Fun.

Pray for us - for our little T to sleep, for her parents' sanity, for their marriage, and for their patience! It's hard to be filled with the fruit of the Spirit at 4 AM. Full of other things, yes, but not the Spirit. is our neighborhood garage sale so I gotta hit the streets. Later, blogland. Hopefully it won't take me so long to post next time. And if my crankiness is any indication of my blogging frequency, then I'll probably be back on here after these messages...


nicolefiehler said...

Hang in there Buffy! Will be praying for good rest for all of you!

Anonymous said...

i am SO GLAD you are back blogging...not that i'm not living here and a consistent part of your lives, i just LOVE when you write/bog!!!...nonnie

The Ward Family said...

I feel your pain... I am NOT A FAN of the 2-3 yr old stage... it's pretty draining. I am in the NO SLEEP zone too... 8 week old plus my 2 yr old wanting to wake up at 5am to watch sesame street? seriously? UGH ! hang in there !