What am I thinking...

So next week I am doing something crazy.  Crazy for many reasons, not the least of which is leaving my family for a full week.  I know people travel all the time with work or for trips and stuff, but when you're a stay at home mom it's a little nuts to think about just pulling out of the chaos for a week.

I turned the big 4-0 this year and for my birthday I asked to go to this thing called the School of Spiritual Direction led by Larry Crabb.  It's in Asheville, NC at The Cove, which is pretty awesome and fun...especially since it will basically be the only fall or winter I will see all year.  Seriously, there are like no trees in Florida and the ones that are here don't have leaves that change.  It's nuts.

Aaaaaaanyway, the other crazy thing about going on this week is that I can't really describe it.  There are some people who have been that I truly respect and admire their walks with Christ, so I'm really just wanting to be more like them/Jesus.  But I feel like a kid going to YL summer camp..."It'll be the best week of your life," without the money back guarantee.  I am thrilled to be able to hear great teaching under Larry, nervous/thankful for the personal sessions I will have with a counselor there, and excited to wear my fleece jacket.  Most of all, though, I am hoping for some direction myself.  Not that I think I will walk away with a true sense of a new calling (i.e. high paying yet super flexible job), but I am hoping that space will be created so that I can listen.

On the first day that all my kids were in school I decided that I wanted to start things off right so I came home, got my coffee, sat in my red chair and started reading scripture.  But quickly I was moved to begin journaling about the absence of quiet in my life for the past five (nine) years and the deep thirst I had for it that just could not be quenched.  That morning sitting in my living room I could literally HEAR the silence...and it stung my ears...in a good way.  Like a cold fountain Coke that burns your throat on the way down kind of way.  It was glorious and refreshing.  That's what I want more of next week.  More space...and cold Cokes.

So wish me luck and pray for me that I will listen well so that I can come back and love well.