Granny Lee

We found out yesterday that around 1am Tuesday morning Granny Lee went to be with the Lord. It's one of those things - sad, but sweet. She had been sick for a long time and was living in a nursing home that wasn't the happiest of places. I will write more soon - trying to get my fam ready for the funeral. Just wanted to say that she was such a sweet woman with a tender and strong heart. We're sad, but relieved that she's no longer in pain. Maggie asked me if she was still in a wheelchair in heaven. How sweet. I gladly told her "no." I'm pretty sure she's dancing up a storm and eating sweets till the cows come home, since she was diabetic and had to eat strictly nursing home food for the past few years...ugh! I'll write more later.

Bombs Away

Yesterday I reinstated the "F Bomb" into my ever-expanding vernacular. It was a rough afternoon with the girls; I just can't seem to deal when they start crying uncontrollably at the same time. One at a time is fine, but two or three at once is, well, worthy of an "F Bomb".

I haven't used this oh-so-versatile curse word with any regularity since the sixth or seventh grade, and then it was just for effect or to impress other potty-mouthed middle schoolers. Now it seems that my afternoons are worthy of the word. Don't get all in a tizzy, folks, I use it under my breath or when I'm alone with two not-yet-babbling babies. My four year old is safe from my momentary outbursts. But I feel like there's got to be a better way. I mean, I am famous for inner monologues of outbursts - whether it be yelling at people who cut me off or yelling at myself when I ram my van into yet another object. I can have the greatest fights with my sweet hubby, filled with ever-so-clever comebacks to his imaginary responses. Maybe this is why I have TMJ, chronic back pain and acid reflux...you think? There's just got to be a better way.

My mom once told me that on frustrating days she would simply walk out to the backyard, shut the door to the nut house behind her, and scream as loud as she could. I have seriously considered this option, but we live in a townhouse and our yard is not our own. I think people would think I'm nuts. But maybe that's the problem - I'm too worried about what others will think if I go off the deep end. Not that anyone would blame me right now.

So, the long and short of it is that I continue to use whatever means necessary to keep myself sane and keep these three precious ones alive. And if that means dropping bombs under my breath at times, well, then I'm ok with that. I am becoming less concerned about what others think of me, but thankfully still remain concerned with what the girls see and hear from their mommy. Lord, help me!

Lots to report

Well, Ian came home today and told me that his grandmother, Granny Lee, is really ill in the hospital. She keeps getting fluid in her lungs, which I don't think is a very good sign. Then he heard from his sister, Miranda, that she was on a hike for work and she fell and broke her ankle. She may have to have surgery, as she tore four ligaments in her foot. And things still continue in Columbia with Nana. She's in a rehabilitation hospital now, which is good, but I think she's really giving them a time.

We are supposed to have the twins baptised this weekend, but may be putting that off a while. It really seems like things happen all at once sometimes. We are trying to figure out what to do, but for now we are just here waiting to hear what's going on. It's hard to be far away when things like this are going on. Not that I could help much if I were there. I want to go to Columbia and see Nana, and we are planning to be up there next week while Ian's out of town, but frankly I know it will just add more chaos to my sweet mom's life. She's holding it in the road, but I know she's exhausted from taking care of Nana, working, and keeping up her other responsibilities. She's an amazing woman and I am so thankful to have her as a mom. She's always been so good in situations like this. She always knows what to do. I thought that was a mom trait, but I don't think all moms are like this. I just know that whenever anyone in her life has a crisis, she drops everything to help them. That's a great thing to see your mom doing when you're growing up. She's amazing.

My sweet friends

Shouties to these folks who have helped me out lately!

*Harriet - faithful blog reader and fun friend - thanks for the yummy taco soup and the visit
*Beth - thanks for keeping Zoe and for enjoying huge cups of caffiene with me
*Lisa - you remind me so much of my sister! You have NO time because you have three kids of your own, but you continue to help me out and ask Maggie over to play
*Erica - for picking up Maggie and letting her play, for bringing YUMMY bread over!
*Tara - meal-maker extraordinaire! Thanks for the dinners, they helped me so much!
*Mary Lyn - for amazing Chicken Enchiladas and much needed white wine
*Linda Runyon - getting Mag from school and letting the girls play at your house. You're an awesome grandmother!

I know there are more folks who have helped, but frankly I am half asleep so sorry if I forgot you.

You know, when I say things like that last sentence, I'm not exaggerating for effect. My eyes are literally half shut.

Life to the full

It's Friday afternoon and thankfully we have no Dr.'s appointments today. This is the first day since Sunday that we haven't been to a specialist, the pediatrician or the ER. The day is still young, though, so I won't count my chickens.

I apparantly won't count sheep either. We're not sleeping much around here. Actually the twins slept through the night last night, which was amazing, but since I'm fighting off a cold I woke up anyway to hack my way to the bathroom for more cough medicine. I know, wah wah wah. Sorry, it's just been one of those weeks. One of those weeks when you just want someone to tell you how great you're doing as a mom, how amazing it is that you've kept your family alive and fed, and how awesome you look wearing no makeup and sweatpants. Ian does a good job of encouraging me, I must say, but the encouragement I need seems to be insatiable these days.

One of my favorite Bible verses is John 10:10, where Jesus says that He has come to give us life to the full. Not just regular old life, but full and abundant life. The Greek word for life is "zoe", which is one reason we chose this name for our little girl. I guess I just never realized how much "zoe" Tori and Zoe would bring! When I have a week like this I just try to remember how full my life is because of these kids - and because of the life I have been given in Christ. The highest highs and lowest lows of my day are surrounding these three girls - because they are so precious, so hilarious, so frustrating, so tiresome, so curious and so dependent. I am so grateful for the full life I have been given. Even in the midst of the tough days.

p.s. My pearl earrings have gotten quite a workout this week.

No way...

It's 10:18 pm and the hospital called about an hour ago to say that Zoe's blood culture came back and we need to bring her back in tonight for another shot of antibiotics. Ugh. Ian took her, again, downtown to the children's hospital to get the shot. Apparantly whatever bacteria she has is growing quickly so they want to get her juiced up. I thought something was going on - she was still really fussy and kept getting a fever. Anyway, we are apparantly growing some bladder infected girls around here. Tori's appointment with the urologist is Wednesday. Then we'll be doing the entire round of tests and meds again with Zoe. So glad we know what's up, but it's still a pain.

Have you ever had a bladder infection, ladies? If so, then you know what I mean when I say that I am filled with patience for these girls when they are sick with this. It's MISerable anytime...but try having one on your honeymoon. Fun.

Anyway, if you're the prayin' kind, then hook us up and pray for some sleep and for health in this house! We need it!

Oh what a night...

So Zoe was getting better yesterday, or so we thought. Then last night I went to get her around 1:30 am because she was making some noises. Took her temp and it was 105.2 or something like that. I freaked and we called the doc for the fourth time this weekend. They said to head to the ER - downtown - not the ER that is within walking distance of our townhouse. There's a great children's hospital downtown and they wanted us to go there. So, Ian took Zoe to the ER and I stayed home and tried not to lose my mind while they were gone. Not that I could have done a dern thing, but moms just need to be with their babies when they're burning up. But, I guess, if you have two babies and a four year old, you have to bend the mom rules a bit. Three kids is no joke.

Zoe has a bladder infection, which is painful for her, but good that we know what it is and it's easily treated. The bad part is this...Tori has already been through this and is on antibiotics for the next YEAR (yes, you read me right) to prevent relapse because she has some reflux into her kidney. In order to find that out we've had to go to the doc with Tori about a million times. Now we have to do the whole thing again with Zoe. Wow. Those $15 copays are adding up! So thankful for our great insurance, though.

Sooo....Ian got home from the ER around 5:30 am. Maggie woke me up at 6 am saying it was freezing in her room. So I walked her back in, covered her up, and went back to sleep for another hour and a half. Then I got up, got Maggie dressed for school, got myself dressed, picked up Zoe from a dead sleep and we headed to her doctor's appointment. Praise the Lord for my mom's group at church - they have helped so much today! My sweet friend, Lisa, picked up Maggie and took her to school. Another sweet friend, Erica, is bringing her home, and two sweet friends offered to bring us dinner tonight. I am so grateful - they are really loving us like family right now.

Long story longer, here is the funny part of my morning. I got ready to take Zoe to the doctor and decided to wear my new jeans (non maternity, thank you very much) since it's basically fall here, which means that the high is 85 today. So I put on my jeans, a long tank under my t-shirt which, by the way, is my favorite new tummy concealer. The two shirt phenomenon, although it's toasty, is very helpful in smoothing out the rough spots. It also helps because most of my normal shirts are too short to wear with my pants or shorts so when I don't have on the under-tank my stretch -mark -pocked belly shines for the world to see. So, get the picture - me in my casual attire, haven't slept for days, no makeup, hair like a rats nest in a ponytail, and crocs to top it off. Then I look in the mirror and decide I'll put on a pair of earrings. And what do I go with...pearls, of course. I mean, what is it about a pair of pearls that makes you feel like you are fully dressed? It's like saying, "I know I look like holy heck, but I usually don't look this way...see my pearls? I'm really sophisticated deep down." The sad part is that when I looked in the mirror at myself I actually believed that I looked pretty good. Just because of the pearl earrings. I don't know...must be a Southern thing, but it works every time for me.

OK, gotta run. Just remember, ladies, don't cast your pearls before swine, but definitely slap those suckers on your ears when your look needs a lift.